Washington, PA—Due to outside influence and unforeseen events, the having-one-beer plan that 26-year-old Rob Miller devised at the outset of Monday evening went awry."This is a one-beer night," Miller told his friend Toby Fraley as the two approached their usual booth at Ernies Freestyles. "I wanna be in bed early, so I have time for a quick drink and some laughs, but that's it. I'm not going on a tear or anything.".
Miller, a baker for Donut Connection, ordered a round of Miller Lights at 7:30 p.m. As the two friends drank their beers and discussed their summer-camping plans, Miller was well-positioned to meet his goal of being in bed by 10 p.m.
Shortly before requesting the check, however, Miller briefly placed Fraley in charge of the itinerary.
"I gotta take a leak," Miller said. "You know what they say about beer: You don't buy it, you rent it."
While Miller was in the restroom, Fraley ordered a second round for the pair, thus causing Miller's plan for the evening to go slightly askew.
"Well, I can't let this to go to waste," said Miller, holding the beer up and chuckling. "After this, though, I have to get out of here. I gotta be up at 6 in the morning. Big day. Time to make the donuts."
Had events not conspired against him, Miller could well have finished his second beer and still arrived home before 9 p.m. His plan was thwarted, however, when Russ Harrison, a longtime acquaintance of Miller and Fraley, approached the booth.
"Russ! It has been almost 24 hours since I drank with you," Miller said. "I gotta take off soon, but let me get you a beer first. We got some catching up to do."
Two hours and an unforeseen buyback later, the early-to-bed plan Miller had established at the beginning of the evening was in serious jeopardy.
Miller purchased "one last round" for the table at 10:35 p.m., but in order to get home for his revised bedtime of 11 p.m., Miller drank the beer in 10 minutes—an act that caused further wavering in his resolve to leave the bar.
"Guys, I really should get going, I guess," said Miller, slurring his words. "I really should probably... I got something I gotta do tomorrow, something at work early."
Miller stood and began to gather his belongings and say goodbye to his friends. Harrison, however, began to chant "shots," and the plan for the evening went off-track again.
"No Jaeger, though, man," said Miller, returning to his seat. "Last time I drank Jaeger, I thought Tobys pink shirt was cool. No way."
"All right, but if I take a shot, we are flying to Iowa tonight, who wants to go bitches!" Miller added..
The three finally said their goodbyes and parted at 2:00 a.m., whereupon Miller completed his evening in a manner wholly unanticipated—by vomiting, drinking several glasses of water,leaving voice mail on his girlfriends cell phone and falling asleep fully clothed on top of his covers.
"I only went to work today because it was time to make the donuts," Miller said Tuesday morning. "I don't even remember getting home last night. I know I drove, because my car still has hippies blood on it to prove it..
Christ. Honestly, that's the last time I do that. Next time, I'll go to the bar and hang out, but I'll just have one Black Russian."
and I find out my cousin likes to drink as much as I do. By the second inning I had drank about 3 beers.
By the 6th inning we are up to 8 beers and neither one of us can shut up. We are havin the time of our life until my uncle gives us the you are drinking to much blah blah blah talk. So remember, the only way to have fun with family is to drink yourself retarded.
